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Older Men Dating Younger Thai Women

10th March, 2014

What are the Potential Issues for Older Western Men Dating Thai Women Younger than Themselves?

The good news is that young Thai girls whether they are working as bar girls, office girls or students in Thailand love dating older men. They can’t help to be attracted to older western men aged from 40 years and up.

Western men aged 40+ are flocking to Thailand for holidays and to retire.

Although initially they are mainly heading for Bangkok, Pattaya, Chaing Mai and Phuket they are now also heading to settle down all over Thailand including Isaan.

Usually older men first visit Thailand on holiday and are soon seduced by the easy going lifestyle, cheap cost of living and beautiful and accommodating Thai women and Thai girls.

Pretty soon they start doing their calculations, they work out that they could leave or take early retirement from their job in their own country, sell their home and live out their final days with their beautiful young Thai girlfriend. Life, they think, would be idyllic, after working hard all their lives for little appreciation or gratitude.

Now they could swap that for Thailand’s, warm weather, relaxed lifestyle, no pressure and happy smiling people. I can see the attraction for older guys, maybe they are divorced or widowed and feeling lonely, the children, if they have them, are almost sure to be old enough to be off their hands and independent, also when you reach a certain age it is only natural you start looking at your own mortality and health.

Older more mature men start looking at how long they have left and how long they might remain ‘physically active’.

Of course anybody who has read our blogs will understand and appreciate it is not as simple as that. Things can get very complicated, dangerous and expensive for western men (farags) in Thailand, the land of smiles (and scams). Costs can easily get out of control, the legal system is bias towards Thai’s and there is a lot of corruption.

Having said all that, young Thai girls do seem attracted to older, more mature men. Many Thai women have had bad experiences with Thai men and every other Thai girl you meet in Thailand seems to have children living with their parents, whose father has disappeared and she is supporting on her own. Many Thai women have had enough of Thai men and want to meet a western man who will support her and be faithful.

To many Thai women seeking men an older western man is even more attractive!

Older men dating younger women, men aged 40+ are usually calmer and more considerate; they tend to be more faithful and less demanding (sexually and on their time) than younger men. Because they are older they are more likely to have some money behind them and be in a better position to be generous with both their time and money and also better able to support her, her children and her family, especially if a major problem arises.

If you (like I have), walk along Bangla Road in Phuket, Walking Street in Pattaya or have visited Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy in Bangkok you will see hundreds if not thousands of older western men sitting at bars having a beer and chatting to the bar hostesses. About 90% of these men will have a steady Thai girlfriend of some kind of another, many of the men will continue to keep in contact when they finish their visit or holiday and return to their own country.

Many of these relationships will develop into more serious relationships, maybe even marriage, with various levels of success and longevity. However, there are disadvantages and difficulties in relationships where there is a large age difference and these can be exaggerated but the cultural differences between the West and East.

If the Thai girlfriend works or has worked in a bar or the sex industry further complicates matters and relationships. There can be a natural (and understandable) suspicion or lack of trust on the part of the older westerner boyfriend and the longer a Thai girls work in a bar the more they seem to change. It is a difficult thing to explain but the longer they work in the industry the more they seem to be able to excuse or justify any kind of behaviour on their part.

It seems that any type of bad behaviour goes as long as they don’t get caught, money and the acquisition of wealth is the main
driving force, love emotions, feelings and quality of any relationship take a firm second place. A lot of Thailand’s bargirls just don’t seem to be able to recognise when they are onto a good thing with their older western boyfriend, they don’t seem to be able to understand that all they have to do is be faithful stay out of trouble and they will be set for the rest of their lives, but in so many cases are unable to do so.

There is a saying amongst Thailand’s investigators, ‘You can take the girl out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of the girl!

The downside for older guys is that even though Thailand’s women and girls like dating older men there are still problems.

Working as a private detective in Thailand investigating unfaithful and cheating girlfriends I found that about 95% of my work involved older men aged 40+ who were worried that their younger Thai girlfriend was cheating on them, being unfaithful with other boyfriends or still working in bars when they were having money sent to them by their absent boyfriends so they no longer had to.

Dating Thai women