We often get correspondence from guys and girls asking if we think a partner may be cheating on them, in the blog post we have included a question raised by an English guy who is involved with a Thai girl he met whilst on holiday in Pattaya.
I met my girlfriend while I was on holiday in Pattaya Thailand last year. We met in a local bar and really hit it off; she was working there because she couldn’t get a good job in Issan (the province she came from and needed the money to send to her family). We spent the whole holiday together and had a really good time and when it was time for me to leave she cried and told me she didn’t want me to go and would miss me.
It was really nice to feel wanted again as my wife died five years ago and I have been feeling lonely and unloved ever since. My wife and I had a good relationship I never cheated on her and as far as I know she never cheated on me.
When I arrived home my Thai girlfriend and me kept in touch by text and Skype and she told me she was unhappy working in the bar as men who came to the bar said they wanted her to be their girlfriend, she said it made her sad. She said she wanted to learn to speak and write English so she could get a job in the tourist industry as a tour guide.
I thought that was a great idea as I didn’t like the thought of her working in the bar and didn’t like her boss, who was just using her to make money and was always drunk. I decided to start sending her some money for English lessons and she told me she had quit her job at the bar.
By now I must admit I had fallen head over heels in love with her, although she was 20 years younger than me, we seemed to be on the same wavelength, made each other laugh and wanted the same things in life.
Over the next year I visited her whenever I could afford it. Because I was visiting more often and sending her money I couldn’t stay in such nice hotels as before, treat her to expensive meals or buy her nice presents. This sometimes made her unhappy and angry and she would accuse me of not taking good care of her and she would call me a ‘Cheap Charlie’. I also noticed that although she said she was now working in a Pizza restaurant and not earning so much money as when she worked at the bar, her standard of living seemed to be improving.
Somehow she had managed to afford the money to buy a new motorbike and phone and her friend had moved out of the room they were sharing so she was paying the rent all on her own. By then her English classes had finished so I was using the money I was saving paying for them to send her money to help with her day to day living expenses and giving her the money to send to her family at home in her village.
When I returned home from the last trip I noticed some changes in her and the way she spoke to me, when I phoned her at pre arranged times, sometimes she would not answer or she would answer and I could hear people talking in the background laughing and having fun. When I would ask about where she was and what was she doing, she would shout at me and accuse me of trying to control her, sometimes she sounded drunk.
By now I was sending her quite a lot of money every month, I didn’t want her working back in the bar and I wanted her to have a good and happy life, she hadn’t managed to find a job in the tourist industry and she said she was arguing with her boss at the Pizza restaurant.
On my last trip out to visit her she seemed a bit distant and although I wanted to spend all my time with her she said she had to meet her friends and would disappear for hours on end. She would keep her phone with her all the time and even sleep with it under her pillow; but she had it on silent nearly all the time.
She told me that she had been sacked from her job at the Pizza restaurant a couple of weeks before I arrived. Although she had no job and only had the money I was sending her, she still seemed to be quite well off, she had plenty of nice clothes and shoes and she had even managed to buy another motorbike that she was renting to a friend.
My plan was to ask her to marry me and for either me to sell up and move to be with her in Thailand and maybe buy a bar, or for her to come and live with me in my country.
It is a big decision and my family are worried about me making the wrong choice. I must admit, although I love her, I am having my doubts about her, I just don’t understand how she can have the lifestyle she has with no job and only the money I send her and also there is that business with her hiding her phone from me.
I am getting suspicious there is another boyfriend, and is she cheating on me, maybe another boyfriend from another part of the world that is sending her money as well as me and that’s how she can afford all those things. I don’t want be made a fool of and don’t want to be with somebody who I can’t trust. I have got some big decisions to make, I have already spent a lot of money supporting her and don’t want to lose all my families money and children’s inheritance.
If I buy a bar business in Pattaya or Phuket according to Thai law it will be illegal for me to own the business outright, she will have to own at least 51% so I will be very vulnerable.
Please can you help me and advice me what to do?
PS; I forgot to tell you I have visited her family in her village they all seemed very nice and friendly.
As we said we get letters like this asking for help and advice all the time. This letter could easily come from one of our clients in the Philippines, Bali or Cambodia.
Read Fidelity Check Online’s response:
There are thousands of people just like you all over the world, in long distance relationships supporting a girlfriend or boyfriend and not knowing whether you can trust them and wondering if their feelings are genuine.
It maybe that your girlfriend loves you, is being faithful and is just good with money or living off of her savings and the money you are sending her. Or, it may be, that she is cheating on you and has other boyfriends sending her money, boyfriends, she has told exactly the same sad story to.
You are suspicious of your girlfriend because of something she have done (or not done) or said, that makes you think she might not be genuine or trustworthy. You worry that she doesn’t have the same feelings as you and can’t be trusted with your heart and money.
Often you want to make sure of your girlfriend before you make a big decision or commitment, such as asking them to marry you, or for you to make the big decision to sell up and move thousands of miles to be with them it their country and maybe buy a business for them.
You could employ a Private Investigator and have her followed, the problem with doing that is that if she does have a boyfriend living in another county who visits her like you do, you (or the Private Investigator), will have to know exactly when the boyfriend is visiting her and where he might be staying, for the surveillance to be successful and for you to find out the truth.
The good thing is that you are not alone, if your Thai girlfriend does have another boyfriend or boyfriends they are probably just as suspicious as you and feeling just as frustrated about wondering what they can do. Well there is something you can do, to find out the truth and whether your girlfriend is being honest and genuine.
Here, at FidelityCheckOnline we know exactly how you feel, we help thousands of people with our unique database which identifies infidelity by matching possible cheating girlfriends or partners with other suspicious members. Once the match has taken place, if the members wish, we can put them in contact with each other.
Finding out the truth about a Thai Girlfriend who maybe cheating on you can be painful but it can save you and your family heartache and financial loss.